Knight Angels: Book of Revenge Page 13

  “I think…” I wanted to tell him he was being naïve, but I could tell it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He was going to validate this in any way that he could. The thread of grief slackened, and the weakness once again washed away.

  Max brushed a strand of hair from my face. “But it makes sense. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering how a simple affair could drive my brother to such extremes. It didn’t seem to justify the crime. Knowing who Patrick really was to us changes things. Even I feel anger toward my mother… my father. They lied to us.”

  I had to be the voice of reason. “I’m sure your mother and Patrick did it to protect you,” I assured, my blood pumping with a flight of fear for challenging him.

  “I had magick, Jane. I wasn’t a simple human, but Greg was. Not only did he have to find out that his life was a lie, but he had to find out that he was different than me as well. It must have been crushing.”

  My neck steeled—my eyes wide. “You inherited magick? You’re a natural?”

  Max nodded. “Here, look for yourself.”

  He handed me a letter and I read it, my eyes scanning and rescanning the words. When the truth had finally set in, I brought myself to speak.

  “Perhaps Patrick lied to you, hoping you and Greg would both dodge magick? If that was the case, then believing your father was Henry begins to make a lot of sense. You would have been spared from the magickal world all together. You would have been safe.”

  “But we weren’t.” I felt him push me away from him, irritated that I refused to allow him to settle on a negative notion. “I would have wanted to know the truth. I would have wanted to love Patrick like a father.”

  I looked around the room, my teeth clenched with determination. “But you do. You did.” From what Max had told me, Patrick always loved him this way, even if to Max, he was just a teacher. “If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t have taken in Erik after the deaths. And he left you all this.” I swept my hand about the room. “When all was said and done, Patrick did what he could for you, given the circumstances. It just took you a while to put the pieces together.”

  Max nodded, but I wasn’t sure if he was doing it to get me to stop justifying, or if he really understood and saw my side of it. I looked back to the desk where the image of Patrick lay. Max had the same jaw line, the same eyes. It was so obvious to me, and I didn’t understand how Max hadn’t seen it sooner.

  “I will move here,” Max added with determination. “I belong here.”

  I nodded, seeing his mind was made up.

  “I always felt like this wasn’t my place, but now I see that being human wasn’t my place.” He invited me back into the crook of his arm, squeezing me tight. “I really am home.”

  Wes:

  I mindlessly tapped my finger on the table, my head resting in my free hand. Jake and Emily were talking to each other as though I wasn’t even here, though I sat right between them. I would have joined in with the conversation, but it was boring mind reader stuff. My mind began to wander on its own.

  Where had Jane gone? Though I was over all that had happened in the past, I still wanted to make sure she was okay. We were slowly becoming friends again, and I was happy to see that. I flicked away a crumb that had been on the table when we sat down. The look on Jane’s face had been unmistakably distressed just a moment ago, and all day, really. I’d felt anxious because of it, and I felt some reservations about letting her go find Max alone. My instincts had grown stronger as I allowed the thing I was to consume me, as it nearly had this afternoon.

  Why was it that I’d had such a hard time changing back? I looked at my hand, wiggling my fingers and thinking how uncomfortable I felt in my own skin. Before I knew I was a shifter, I often felt out of place. Knowing what I was now made me want to stay animal all the time. What if I did? Would I forget about my human world as I had before? Would I really forget Emily so easily?

  The faerie returned with our food, her hands full. As she set each plate down, it crowded the table.

  “Anything else?” She looked less than enthusiastic to take another order, simply asking because she had to. Her eyes stopped when they reached mine. She looked at me inquisitively, as though I were the spectacle of the two of us.

  “Looks great,” Jake replied.

  The faerie sighed and looked away, flipping her feathers as she turned and strolled back to the depths of the kitchen.

  I looked sideways at Jake’s food, surprised that it looked more appetizing than I’d expected. Sure, there was blood, and a lot of it, but it was dark crimson and coagulated like a spicy steak sauce, drizzled over a raw looking piece of meat. To me, it looked like an afternoon kill, something I had an increased hankering for lately.

  Glancing back at my own food, I noticed Emily staring at the same thing I had from the corner of my eye. Her face was creased and pale, her reaction a far cry from what mine had been.

  “Doing all right?” I asked, giving her a nudge, a smirk dancing upon my lips.

  Emily nodded, but it didn’t hide the nauseated glaze of her eyes.

  The door to the café opened, letting in the sound of street traffic outside. I looked up, anxiously hoping it would be Jane. A crowd of people blocked my view, but even if I couldn’t see her, I still sensed her. At last it was confirmed by Max’s ashy smell which rode on the ensuing breeze. The crowd parted as they were led to their table, leaving Max and Jane standing alone in the entry. They had solemn expressions, Jane’s eyes blank as she led Max to our booth. They slid in and Jane let out a sigh. Max crossed his hands before him, bowing his head without as much as a salutation.

  I put my fork and knife down, my food remaining untouched. “What’s going on?”

  Jane was the only one that looked at me. I knew she had an answer, but she motioned toward Max as though to imply it wasn’t her answer to give.

  I bobbed my head slowly, now sensing an edge in Max’s ashy scent. The smell of it was overwhelming, more so than the scent of the meat in front of me. It was bitter, and deeply hopeless. He was someplace that was very cold and alone. Seeing him this way was so different from the calm, confident Max I knew. In truth, it made me nervous. He had always been the rock, but now he was nothing but a broken man, and I didn’t know why. It was just a feeling.

  We finished our food, except Emily who hadn’t ventured to touch hers. Jake paid the bill and we all ended up on the street in the dark. I couldn’t help but yawn.

  “Well, shall we go?” I pulled Emily against me, feeling discomfited by Max and Jane’s somber moods.

  She nodded slowly, her eyelids heavy.

  “See you tomorrow at school, Jake?”

  Jake snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “You betcha. Need a ride home?”

  Emily was practically falling asleep against my chest. “No, I think I can manage. I tilted my neck, cracking my bones.

  Jake extended his hand to Max. “Max. Jane. Good to meet you, for real. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Max took his hand slowly. “Sure. You too.”

  My gaze skirted over Jane and Max, my eyes narrowed with curiosity as I changed into the lion. I urged a lethargic Emily to climb onto my back. Jane smiled and gave me a brush on the head, her fingers raking through my mane.

  “See you tomorrow, Wes. Take care of Emily for me.”

  I looked up at Jane, then turned and walked into the dark. I felt so useless when it came to helping her, but it wasn’t my place anymore. The best I could do was be a friend and try to understand anything she might be going through, even if I didn’t agree.

  Emily’s arms were wrapped tight around my neck, fingers twisted in my mane. Scuffing the ground with dirty paws, I looked skyward, just as the cry of an owl could be heard overhead.

  Emily:

  I woke in the dark of my room. “Wes?”

  No one answered me.

  I threw the coverlet off of me, sweat coating my body. My stomach growled with hunger after skipping dinner, and as hard as I tried to remember
how I got home, I couldn’t.

  Sitting up, I felt weak, drained—craving. Not only was I hot, but my room was humid, a strnge thing for Colorado. I slowly stood and walked to the window, pulling the blinds and cranking it open. I let the cool night air stream in and across my face. Sighing with tired eyes, I thought I was seeing things as a shadow moved outside, ducking behind the bend of the house. My brows pressed together, squinting in the direction but seeing nothing. A dreadful shiver broke across my skin, making me think of Greg. I leaned further out the window, trying to crane my neck around the corner, trying to convince myself that what I’d seen was nothing, perhaps just the cat.

  “Emily?”

  I jumped, my grip slipping from the window frame. A firm hand grabbed me just before I tumbled forward out the window, pulling me back in. I thrashed against the contact, nearly screaming before another hand clasped over my mouth. His skin was cold and sizzling, like ice thrown on a fire. He let go once I was safely rooted back inside the room. I spun to face the intruder.

  “Emily, it’s just me.” Max loomed over me in the dark, hands in the air. His palms were blistered from touching me.

  “What just happened?” I demanded.

  Max’s hands healed before my eyes. He dropped them. “The lingering snake venom in your blood. It does that.”

  “What are you doing here?” I hissed, shrugging away the chill of that feeling against my skin.

  He knelt to my level to whisper. “I just heard you open the window. I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

  “I’m fine,” I crossed my arms over my chest, remembering that I didn’t have much more than a t-shirt on. “You’re supposed to be watching Jane, not me.”

  Max grinned. “You’re a part of Jane. So I watch you, too.” He said it in a very obsessive fashion.

  I snorted. “It’s all you think of, seriously. Get a hobby. Jane, Jane, Jane,” I mocked. His mind was all about it since the first day I’d seen him.

  Max shrugged and turned away from me, not giving into my attempts to fight. “Goodnight, Emily.”

  Just as quickly as he had appeared he was gone, a shadowy smoke dissipating in the air he once occupied.

  The room had cooled now, so I shut the window, being sure to fasten the lock. I glanced once more outside by the corner of the house; there was nothing there. I gave up and climbed back in bed, twisting under the covers to get comfortable. Resting on my side, I noticed that the stuffed animals that once sat in the chair across the room had been rearranged onto the floor. They sat in a semicircle, perfectly placed, but not by me. I lifted my head from the pillow, my heart jumping. The chair they were once in was empty, but a part of me believed it hadn’t been that way long. I swallowed, slowly crawling back out of bed and approaching the chair, warily keeping an eye on the stuffed animals at my feet. I pressed my hand against the fabric of the seat—it was cold, too cold…

  Greg cold…

  Max:

  After returning from Emily’s room, I resumed standing in my place in the corner of Jane’s. I watched her sleep as I always did, always have. Jane never knew I was here, had never felt me until now, though I’d felt her for longer than she could imagine. She was the one constant in my life. Everything else had turned out to be a lie. I wanted to be close to her in the way she desired—I desired—but I could feel the thread between us growing painfully tight, especially given what had happened on our visit to Winter Wood. I’d nearly killed her.

  I hated myself for it, more than I hated myself for not seeing that Patrick was my father. Despite what I’d nearly done to her, though, I still wanted more. Right now the feeling to be with her was unlike anything I’d ever felt. I was addicted to her emotion. The danger of my duty to watch over her was growing fiercely challenging, and as I stood watching her, the reasons for distancing myself no longer made any sense. I just wanted to live.

  What I learned today as I held her fragile life in my hands was that maybe I could control it. I had felt this life of hers like it was a ball in my grasp, something I wouldn’t let go of, and couldn’t. No one had ever attempted what I wanted to right now, so who knew what the real outcome would be outside of rumor? I swallowed this notion, drunk from the dim light of the room as it glowed across her face and filled me with this aching yearn. She needed me too.

  It wouldn’t hurt to be close to her. I really believed I could. What had happened in Winter Wood was so sudden. The emotion had washed over me without warning, but even then I had controlled it. Being near her like this right now was an emotion I could plan for. It would be easier. I was strong enough.

  I pushed away from the corner and carefully paced across the room to the edge of her bed. I had longed to hold her as she slept, and I promised myself that would be all. It was simple enough. It was natural.

  I stared at her for a moment, breathing steadily. Gently, I gathered the nerve to lie beside her, distancing myself with a few feet of mattress. My movement was light as to not disturb her sleep, afraid that if she woke, her fright would cause me to break her. I propped myself on my side, breathing in her scent and tracing small circles on her coverlet. Her chest rose and fell with each lungful of air, feeding our soul as it burned somewhere deep inside her. I was doing well with this, and I commended myself on the success of the task.

  Growing braver with each uneventful moment that passed, I found myself nudging closer until my head rest against her arm. I wondered where she was, and what she was doing as her soul wandered into the land of dreaming, leaving her body behind with me. I nudged her softly, moving my body against hers and allowing my arm to drape over her.

  She shifted slightly, only to reposition herself more comfortably within my embrace. I couldn’t help but smile, knowing I had accomplished the one thing I’d always longed to. I brushed my finger down the length of her arm, the warmth of her skin relaxing. For the first time in a long while, I was comfortable.

  I closed my eyes then, and without meaning to, I entered her dreams…

  Jane:

  With a strange shiver surrounding me, I saw Max walk from the edge of the field where I sat enjoying the colorful skies of my dream. The grin on my face grew as I slid a piece of grass through my fingers. There was no blood here tonight, no death at all. I’d been working on getting past the lust for it, wanting to live a real life away from my inevitable end where I could work toward making a reason of my future. This development was refreshing.

  Max came and sat beside me, his body separate from mine and his emotions his own—the way it would be if he were still human. He took my hand, his fingers tracing over the ridges of my knuckles.

  “I love Winter Wood.” I spoke, my voice distant and soft, like a gentle breeze. Going there showed me that there really is more to life. I was going to make myself important, and Winter Wood was my place to start.

  He nodded slowly. “I want you to live with me there.” His gaze met mine, oceans crashing to shore. “When I said I wanted to move back, all I could think of was that I wanted you to go with me.”

  The sweetness of the invitation filled me with warmth. I ran my hand through his hair, the strands long enough to wrap around my fingers a few times. He shut his eyes, the powdery blue that surrounded them much more prevalent in the light of the In-between.

  “I want you to be with me forever,” he added.

  My hand fell to my side. “But I won’t be with you forever. I can’t.”

  He thought for a moment before speaking. “I’ll find a way to follow you wherever you go. The Ever After is just another place. It’s not like I can’t go there, too.”

  I picked another piece of grass, wrapping it around my hand. “What about letting me stay in this life with you?”

  Max took the blade of grass from my hand, tying a bow. “There’s nothing I can do to make you stay. You are what you are. What you want only exists in faerie tales.”

  I lowered my gaze, watching him knot the grass. He was right. I was what I was, and with my cravings t
o see the other side, despite my current ability to control them, eternal life would eventually become taxing.

  Max handed me the perfect grass bow and leaned against me, his hand cradling the small of my back.

  “You’re so good at this.” I twisted the bow between my fingers, trying to figure just how he’d tied it.

  He took my hand and guided me to lie down before lying beside me, his head resting on his palm and his arm hitched up at the elbow. He picked another piece of grass, brushing it down the length of my nose. “I’ve had a long time to learn a lot of hobbies in order to pass time.” He traced the strand of grass down along the curve of my torso from my shoulder to my hip and back again.

  “I love you, Jane. I want to keep you, and I will,” he promised.

  I cupped the grass bow in my hands, holding it against my chest.

  Max smiled and leaned forward, kissing my shoulder. His lips were warm and alive in this world, a feeling so divine. I giggled as he moved and kissed my neck, then my chin.

  “It’s so odd,” I thought out loud.

  Max stopped. “What’s that?”

  “Feeling you like this, as though you’re alive.”

  He fingered a strand of my hair. “Do you like it?”

  I hooked my elbows under me, sitting up slightly. “I do.” I paused. “Is that bad?”

  He bit his lip and looked contemplative for a moment. I wasn’t sure if I had hurt his feelings by saying what I had, but I was feeling truthful. Watching anxiously, his distant gaze spooled back. He looked at me and leaned close. At first he seemed reluctant, as though he’d never been this close to me before. He allowed his lips to barely rest against mine, unmoving as though testing something. Then he kissed me.

  His sweet musk became a cage, the kiss like sugary honey dripping down the throat of my spirit. I lowered myself once again and reached out for him, pulling him toward me. His lips didn’t leave mine as we lay back, my hands finding their way carefully down his torso and under his shirt. His muscles tensed at my touch, but slowly relaxed as I gently caressed them.